Last month I introduced the concept of self-care at work, more specifically as a change practitioner. (Read the first article here). But whilst not everyone is a professional change practitioner, any person can implement self-care practices into their own workscapes.

For a quick refresher on why self-care is such an important area, and consequently why I have focused back-to-back posts on it, take a moment to consider how a lack of self-care in your own day-to-day life may impact you.

How might your well-being suffer? How might you be harmed?

Here’s some of the ways I have determined that I can be affected:

• Staying in situations where I suffer multiple violations of the critical values by which I choose to live my life
• Being with people who are highly negative emotional contagious
• Not taking preventive measures to preserve and protect my energies (like those in a General Be-Well Plan) and allowing low-grade damage, which can be cumulative over time. Rather than experiencing a visible big crisis, this is more invisible and can result in burnout and chronic fatigue.
• Not applying remedial measures (like those in a Respond-in-Crisis Plan) when my energies are near depletion or under unusual demand
• Being overwhelmed by the actions of someone else who is panicking without means to self-manage the threat. When directly supporting people who are feeling threatened, there is a risk they will act like a drowning person who may inadvertently drown their saviour as well.

Your list might look different to mine. It’s important to know yourself, your triggers and risks when thinking about your self-care needs.

Consider also: How might you harm yourself or others?

Here’s some ways I know harm can be caused to self and others:

• Not vaccinating self to avoid catching emotional contagion
• Not quarantining self when highly contagious with negative emotion
• Using a client as a source of care (i.e. being too open and crossing a professional line)
• Failing to recognise the signals when harm is only slight, and without intervention allowing it to become more severe

There is a connection about our ability to deal with difficult situations, the way we care for ourselves and the way we care for others.

Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.
~ Eleanor Brown

Let’s get practical

We can plan self-care from two levels – Strategic (aka General Be-Well Plan) and Tactical (aka Respond-in-Crisis Plan) – read more about these levels in the first article.

Here are some ideas to get your planning going.

Practices for General Be-Well Plan

For self

• Cultivate your emotional intelligence (EQ). Know what your emotional wake is; and know what emotional contagions more strongly affect you, for which you may be a carrier or transmitter.
• Do self-monitoring – Take your own inventory and temperature to check where your well-being is, and what you need to do for maintenance or restoration.

I have a magnet on my fridge with the message: “Stress is when your tummy says No Way and your mouth says No Problem.” It’s a convenient reminder that sometimes my body will be able to tell me something my mind is overlooking or ignoring.

• When tackling a challenging situation consider which circle you are in: Circle of Control – where your direct action has impact; Circle of Influence – where your indirect action through influencing another can have impact, or Concern – where you can’t control or influence things and need to let go. Recognising and using appropriate agency can reduce stress through better management of expectations. Poster available on Questo website (PDF).
• Be a self-starter – Make change when you see it is needed; use your own agency.
• Identify and utilise professional support – We can be limited in our perspective, so having another person who is not part of your everyday work scene to talk with can protect us from tunnel vision and blind spots.

Many years ago, on a large enterprise project I made it a condition of taking the Senior Change Manager role that the organisation supported, and paid for a ‘professional supervisor’. I did not need to be supervised in my role. What I sought was a trusted professional to whom I could talk about my challenges, and what I was experiencing, and could safely release any strong emotions that were building up. This was essential for my own mental health, as well as to enable me to positively lead a team of eight people without compromising their own well-being, nor the team’s well-being.

• Habit-unmaking – Be mindful about an activity that you typically do on autopilot, e.g. brushing your teeth, taking a shower, standing in a coffee line, waiting for a train – pay attention to what you are doing, and be ‘awake’ during the action. You may or may not change what you do, but the first part is to raising your awareness to what you are doing without your mind wandering to other things. Be present! (There are lots of online resources with suggestions for mindfulness behaviours. If you want a particularly deep experience in the month of May, consider Mindful in May where you can Pause for a Cause.)
• Identify and build deep relationships with people who nurture you and uplift you. Hang with them as much as possible.
• Tell others about your commitment to self-care. This helps make the commitment stick, and you’ll likely find sympathetic colleagues and allies.
• Find someone who wants and needs your talents who you can help out. Pay it forward for the assistance you’ve been given in the past. Sometimes having what you offer truly valued by someone else can be a real motivational boost.

One person who was in transition between jobs and needing a boost helped me out by building me a website for a new product I launched. This is what they said; “Being able to work with you during this transition has meant so much to my well-being! I really do appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me”.

• Turn a situation into a learning moment. Find a purpose or hidden blessing. Warning – you have a choice about whether you want/need, or can handle the lesson now. It’s okay to simply be, and not strive to learn or change.
• Read the recommendation others have given you as life affirming input. It’s good to remember what positive impact we have in other’s lives.
• List things for which you are grateful. Keep a gratitude journal.

 “Gratitude works its magic by serving as an antidote to negative emotions”.
~ Arianna Huffington

• Identify and use a personal Mantra. It helps with any unhelpful self-talk that might kick in when you are tired or on the defense. Mine is “breathe, breathe, breathe” – the song “Breathe” by Alexi Murdoch is a helpful reminder.
• Self-care aids can be directly helpful; or provide useful prompts/beacons to remind you of self-care attitude and actions.
  • A design student in London, Rui Sun has come up with some creative ideas that might delight and inspire you. Called an ‘Emotional First Aid Kit’, it is a collection of products designed to relax and help one concentrate in particularly difficult or stressful situations.
  • Check out bio-matric devices and apps available for your mobile devices. Ask your friends and colleagues if they have favourites to recommend to you. (I purposefully avoid aids that require me to have electronic devices constantly close to my person, so sorry I can’t recommend any to you.)
• Engage in physical activities that stimulate the senses and connect you to feeling alive.
• Write down the Value you want generated in particular work exchanges (I bet it’s more than just money!), and the critical Values that you live by. Use these as anchor points for decisions about what situations you get into; to keep perspective about what really matters to you, and indicators of where you shouldn’t compromise. Sometimes self-care is making prudent decisions about when to commit and when to quit. The best self-care option might be to retreat, especially when things aren’t working out because they are not the best fit for you, or not a best fit for this point in time, or for the particular set of circumstances.

These are just a few. There are many books and resources published with valuable ideas. Why not start a conversation with people in your network to learn more?  You’ll want to be on the lookout for ones that are most relevant to you personally, and your risks and triggers.

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
~ Jean Shinoda Bolen

For the team’s self-care

As the leader of a team, you can also create conditions and activities for team self-care. Here’s some ideas:

• Give each person a plant to take care of; it becomes a contextual beacon for care, and a reason to take caring action
• Provide Vitamin B tablets to provide extra boost before going into stressful situations
• Encourage and do walk-and-talk meetings
• Set team rules about boundaries between work and home; including no email during time-off, be it the weekend or holiday leave
• Make the Caring for People poster (PDF) visible so all can continually have conversations about caring for each other. Even better, make your own customised team poster.

Here’s a taste of my personal General Be-Well Plan. It addresses a mix of physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual energies.

• Get 7-8 hours’ sleep regularly. (Sleep deprivation is classified as torture – and I know it if I don’t get enough)
• Create a bedroom environment that is highly conducive to sleep – no electronic devices present, cool temperature, no ambient light
• Eat good food; avoid excess sugar and salt
• Meditate by doing gardening at home
• Watch Vitamin D levels – take supplements, get outside in the sun
• Have a set of emergency supplies ready to use as quick remedy when on client site (i.e. Muesli bar; water bottle; ibuprofen tablets; scented hand cream; interesting book to read; iPod with uplifting playlist)
• Disconnect from work at weekends – no tech channels, no work conversations
• Schedule and honour pleasurable/top-me-up events at least once a week
• Hang regularly with people who lift my spirits and challenge me in positive ways
• Have a playlist of songs that give me an instant boost
• Watch or read sci-fi stories to stimulate my imagination about possibilities
• Use a Notebook to get things out of my head and down in a system I can retrieve them from.=
• Prioritise reading and learning time to refresh my thinking
• Have a Professional Supervisor on standby for particularly difficult workplace situations
• Get regular massages from my friendly remedial masseuse
• Take long showers (I have large rain water supply) and imagine stress washing off me
• Do the stress-inventory check annually to get a regular reading, e.g. Holmes Rahe Stress Inventory
• Keep a record of the Value I want from a work gig, and the critical values I live by. Refer to these when I’m monitoring how things are going. If there is a violation or failure to generate – then it’s time to seriously consider departure.
• Maintain a Respond-in-Crisis Plan and review/update annually (see next list)

Practices for Respond-in-Crisis Plan

Here’s my real list; ready for deployment when I need it. It’s pre-written because if I’m in such a situation that I need it, I’ll only have the energy capacity to Act, not Plan.

• Take a course of Vitamin B tablets
• Get a massage or three
• Don’t drink alcohol; drink more water
• Hang with friend DB or CD and feel the love
• Play the song “Cheers (to the freakin’ weekend)”
• Buy/pick flowers with great scent
• Write down stuff to get it out of my mind
• Walk it off – pace if I have to!
• Hug my partner – lots!
• Find the humour in a situation
• Avoid extroverts and problem solvers

For fast-acting relief; try slowing down.
~ Lily Tomlin

As the Sovereign of Helen unLimited (my particular instance of Self unLimited), I have declared that self-care is important for me. I have utilised the responsibility of RULES to define what actions to take that align with the value of self-care for me and others in my workscape.  I have utilised the responsibility of RENEWAL to ensure that those actions are part of my regular professional practice in how I adopt and adapt new behaviours. I do this not only as a professional change practitioner, but as a caring person who wants to better work experiences for everyone, so I’ll lead by my actions.

Self-care is about practically caring for self, not some grand ideal of caring or self – a good place to start is one or two things that you know will benefit you. I don’t advise trying to implement every suggestion that you’ve read above – I certainly don’t do them all!  Do start somewhere. I can guarantee that in the long run, active positivity and proper maintenance of your well-being will be reflected in other aspects of your life. Your future self and those around you will be thankful that you looked after yourself.

When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.
~ Benjamin Franklin

Author
Helen Palmer is Founder and Principal Change Agent at Questo. She muses on how people can have a better experience of work. She likes to share those thoughts with the possibility that they inspire and initiate meaningful change in workscapes everywhere.

This post was simultaneously posted on LinkedIn.