Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
~ Voltaire

A topic I’ve noticed in social media at the moment is about bonuses, rewards, and awards. These are inherently about appreciation, and validation that you are doing something others deem valuable.

As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think people can differ in the means by which they wish to be appreciated and valued.

In my sibling relationship, my sister introduced me to the book and concept of ‘Five Languages of Love‘ . Putting aside whether an individual has a natural preference for one of these over others, it can be a useful framework to explore different ways to show love, aka value, someone. It makes the point that how you would like to receive appreciation is probably how you show appreciation – which is not necessarily the same as what the recipient of your appreciation might value. Thus your ‘gratitude’ doesn’t hit the mark in being gratefully received. Ouch!

The Five Languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts. How might these translate into the context of professional colleagues? (I’m treating the notion of ‘colleagues’ broadly: colleagues in the same organisation, in the profession or in any of the communities you inhabit for work or business related matters.)

What makes you feel appreciated? How might you appreciate others?

Here’s some suggestions:

Quality Time

• Take the colleague out for a non-agenda conversation over coffee or a walk – create an oasis away from the normal hurly-burly of work life.
• Offer one hour of your time to assist the colleague in some way – maybe proof-read something, brain-storm options to a challenge, be a sounding board as they work through their thoughts, or be the audience while they practice something.
• Invite your colleague to join you in attending an event or meetup – it’s nice to go to such things in a company of a friendly face.

It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Words of Affirmation

• Send a private note of appreciation – make it delightful in some way, e.g. a humorous card, something handwritten.
• Find and share a quote (or image or cartoon – visual language is good too!) that might encourage your colleague and uplift their spirits.
• Write a personal Recommendation that can be posted on a profile like LinkedIn.

Nothing else can substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free — and worth a fortune.
~ Sam Walton

Physical Touch

So taking this one literally can be problematic in work contexts, so I’m tweaking this to ‘Social Touch’.

• If it is appropriate relationship and context, give your colleague a hug.
• Follow the person on social media, Like and Comment on the things they share. Add your own touch with a personal thought.
• Reach out to a colleague you haven’t seen for a while and let them know you are thinking of them. Check how they are doing.

Most people shake your hand but only a few touch your heart.
~ Giovannie de Sadeleer

Acts of Service

• Take note of the tasks your colleague really doesn’t like to do (or have time to do), and offer to take one of those tasks off their hands for a period of time.
• Introduce the colleague to a high-value contact of yours – be sure to make the connection meaningful and tell each person why you thought to make the introduction.
• Promote your colleague (or their ideas) to others who are interested in people with a particular talent/skill or experience, or something fresh to consider.  This might be within your organisation or to someone in your network. Self-promotion can be difficult and at times inappropriate – but there is power in the social proof of someone promoting someone else.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Receiving Gifts

• Give the colleague a book or gift certificate to content (e.g. audio book, music) that might entertain them or introduce them to something new.
• Find something quirky at a stationery store that they can have on their desk to enjoy and use. (There are closet stationery geeks amongst us – trust me!)
• Give the gift of your talent and strengths – prepare a gift voucher for a particular talent that your colleague can redeem from you at a time of their choosing.

Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them. And it’s much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world!
~ Neil Gaiman

What ideas can you contribute to enrich this list? Please suggest in the comments below.

May the season of appreciation never end, and may we all experience more love (and other such human qualities) in our workscapes.

Helen Palmer is Founder and Principal Change Agent at Questo. Like Winnie the Pooh, she sometimes ‘sits and thinks’ … and imagines how people can make a better life for others and themselves. She likes to share those thoughts with the possibility that they inspire and initiate meaningful change.